Sunday, 19 September 2010

RAMMARICO (Regret) 4

Part 4

Five months later...

"Yes, I'm coming. No need to bother, I'll bring something for our dinner." he said over the phone. He  can't help but smile when he heard her answer.

"You little witch," he laughed then said goodbye.

But the laughter suddenly died when he learned of the date, every month he dreaded for that date to come - the 7th day. He couldn't help but remember everything that has happened on that day. He can't stop his mind from wandering in the past. Anger,sadness and hate came rushing by. He should stop thinking, "Yeah, stop it now." he said.

He should be happy today because he will be meeting somebody new. She had been his companion after that incident and he's happy that he found her. She gave him another reason to live, another reason to laugh, she helped him restore his self again, she helped him see that there's still rainbow after the rain. She is his angel, his friend. He know she love him, but he don't know if he's ready to love again. He's happy on what they have now. Not yet, but there is a chance. He became silent when a face entered his mind. The lovely smile, the happy eyes and her long hair that he loves the most. He sighed, he still feels something for her despite the pain she caused him. There's still a space in his heart that will be forever empty because of her. She left him and made his life into mess again. But his stupid heart is still beating for her. His thoughts was broken by a knock on the door.

He lazily got up, went to open the door and was speechless for a moment.

"Hi, can we talk? Am I still welcome here?" she asked.

The woman he was thinking moments ago is standing right before him. Should he let her enter his house? Should he let her talk to him? Should he listen to her? Should he or should he not? He asked himself. He greedily surveyed her face and her body, then her eyes. She changed a lot, especially her eyes. Gone is the twinkle that you can see even if she isn't laughing. He saw how the expressions pass her eyes, he saw anxiety, fear, depression. That's how transparent she is. He made up his mind,

"What a surprise. Come in." 

"Will you give me some time to talk to you? Or you're going somewhere?" she asked

"You won't  take any longer right? So we can talk, have a seat. Care for a drink?" he said while looking at her. She is just staring at him. Her eyes pleading with unspoken words. 

He decided to speak first. "How have you been?" 

She just stare at him, now teary eyed. She took a deep breath and started to speak.

"I'm so sorry. For all the mess I've done. Please forgive me again." she said now crying.

"There's a lot of things that I wanted to tell you, a lot. But I don't know how to start. I just want to say sorry. And...." she paused and look into his eyes

"will it be too much to ask, if you can love me again. This time, I promise I will never let you go."she got up and was about to hug him when..

"Wait" he said giving her a stop sign. "Is it really that easy for you to ask me to love you again after all you've done?" Irritably, he replied.

"Do you think I'm still the fool who loved you before? Do you think I am happy seeing you and hearing that you wanted my love back? How sure are you that I still love you?" he said sarcastically. He doesn't want to do it but he have to get hold of himself. 

"Do you love her? Are you happy now? Is she loving you back?' she asked him referring to the someone new in his life.

"Yes, we're getting along well." he lied.

She wiped her tears and smiled at him. He was for a minute mesmerized because it was a genuine smile. 
"Oh well, what do I expect. I know you'll be happy with somebody else. I hope she will love you more. Because you deserve someone better.  Again I'm sorry and I still love you. Will forever be loving you. " she said and stood up. She was about to  leave when she said.

"Can I hug you for the last time, please?' she pleaded. And without waiting for his answer, she hugged him so tight. He hugged her back, feeling her warm embrace. The emotion was so strong that he too got carried away. Moments later he was kissing her. He can't stop, he don't want to stop. 

"Will you love me, just for today?" she asked. She saw passion in his eyes, his chocolate brown eyes burning with desire. No need for words just their emotions taking place. Their body swayed into a music so wonderful, they danced into a rhythm that only two hearts and souls can hear.

 In that place, on that day, she felt him love her again. As the  music fades, she whispered in his ears." I will love you forever. Even if you don't love me anymore. My love for you is until eternity." He hugged her tight, he felt calm and contentment. He still love her, it didn't change. He wanted to sleep and feel her in his arms so he doze off while hugging her tight. Her naked body close to his.

 She stared at him longer than before,tears flowing but with joy on her face. She touched his face like the way she used to and mouthed "I love you, love".

She carefully remove his arms around her, got up and collected her clothes and with one last look on the sleeping man she loves the most, she left the place. She wish him a happy and contented life with the new girl that will make him happy, that someone who can love him wholeheartedly. Someone who will not cause him pain. How she wish that that someone is still her. 

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